Louis Vuitton Gets Saved

I've been hibernating during this Mercury Retrograde period because what else am I going to do but renew the insurance policy on my closet and make sure my chakra's are aligned in preparation for Venus' four month stay in Capricorn starting this week. But even more important, WWD announced today that the rumors are in fact true and that Nicolas Ghesquière will be replacing Marc Jacobs at Louis Vuitton. Thank you Jesus. I haven't purchased Louis Vuitton since 2007 so hopefully Nicolas will inject it with some much needed chicness to lure me back into their stores. To be frank most of Marc Jacobs's shows lately have been more of a bad adderal trip than anything, and I believe Ghesquière is the xanax we need to get back into the light. In anticipation of this holy union let us review some of Ghesquière's best moments from his years at Balenciaga:

 

Moving your arms freely is for commoners.

 

A sumo wrestler would call this a mini dress.

 Don't just dance under a disco ball. BE THE DISCO BALL.

 It looks like she could punch someone with her boob.

If I was in charge of football this is what the players/uniforms would look like.

 

The first full look I ever bought from Balenciaga. I wore it when I went to go visit Martha behind bars; we had so much fun that day.  

 Remember 2007? I can't except for this outfit.

I was at the LA store the same day as Lindsey Lohan back in 2006. She bought the white top from this look and I bought the black. She then asked me if I wanted to go get a drink and I said yes. I introduced her to Sam Ronson that night.

I would wear this almost everyday in Stockholm when I was learning how to build yachts there back in '09, with the white face paint, naturally.

 I got in a bidding war with a Russian Oligarch's wife trying to get the top from this look on ebay. She won it in the end but she also won the clap from her husband so I feel like I actually won.

 I wore this during a very intense vision quest in Croatia when I wanted to get in touch with my inner vigilante.

 Chloë Sevigny and I both showed up to Max Fish on the same night in this. It was so awkward.

 One time I wore this at Cannes and Gerard Depardieu slapped my ass.

 This reminds me that I have to do yoga.

Part 2: A Very Critical (bitchy) Review of Marc Jacobs' time at Louis Vuitton, coming soon!


Love,
Patty


Photos courtesy of style.com