SHUT UP YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY.

You guys. You guys. Seriously. You guys. I know you think your lives are important but something MAJOR has been going on while you have been busy "working" or "living" or whatever it is that you do...GWYNETH IS ON INSTAGRAM.

Of course her first picture is a selfie with Jason Wu. Judging from Gwyneth's tousled locks and dopamine-filled expression, I'd say it looks as though they just had some rough afternoon sex because what else are you going to do between 2-4pm while you wait for happy hour to start.

I think the most inspirational thing about this is the copyright insignia in the corner, because you never know who might be trying to regram without giving proper credit. Way to connect with the plebes, GooP.

"I can't pretend to be someone who makes $25,000 a year"

And we never would ask you to, Gwyn. Never change.

Okay now I have to go back to getting my Paris roundups ready for you poor bitches.

Cheers!

Love,
Patty

Cheers from New York Fashion Week!

I don't always go to NYFW (I prefer Paris in general) but when I do I make a statement. 

Boots: Fiorentini + Baker, Jeans: Rag & Bone, Tee: Uniqlo, Glasses: Ray-Ban, Bag: Givenchy

You betta watch yoself because FASHION WEEK IS HAPPENING AND IT IS SO INTENSE. WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN? WILL ANNA WINTOUR SMILE? WILL MICHAEL KORS PROVE AGAIN THAT HE IS BETTER AT WINTER THAN SPRING? WHAT WILL ADR WEAR ON HER HEAD? IS CORN GOING TO BE A MAJOR THEME FOR SPRING 2014?
I have so many questions.

Fortunately there are things that are helping tide me over until I can answer these burning questions. Things such as the Pierre Balmain collection:

 How did you find me here?

 

I've been waiting for the bathroom FOREVER.

 

SIDE MAN BOOB

 

I got in an accident and have to wear this body cast until the next collection.

 

I SAID JUST THE TIP.

Or Jason Wu:

 This just slapped the peplum into next spring. DAMNIT.

 It's like the bat signal on her chest but sexy.

 SHE'S SWIMMING IN DIAMONDS

 I hate your hair, Karlie.

Thanks GP for the side butt!

Or Rebecca Minkoff:

 I hate the bride so much.

 WHO'S READY FOR COACHELLA?

I don't know why but this makes me want to play soccer and get margaritas. I DON'T KNOW.

Oh and thanks for the amazing tank RM. You're a babe.

D.own T.o F.iesta

Love,

Patty

Photos courtesy of style.com