Monday, July 1, 2013

The Mean Reds

There are those people that come into your life for a seemingly good reason but only create toxic situations-think Christian Slater in Heathers. While sometimes a bottle of wine and a Xanax will do the trick (but not ambien; alcohol and ambien have never done anything good except made one of my Audrey Hepburn posters dance and talk to me) you may need to dig a little deeper than the medicine cabinet and wine cellar and do some actual spiritual healing.
Granted I'm stuck up in West Harlem for the next few months (no gun shot wounds yet!) so obviously I can't afford a weeklong mental health retreat to Arizona  like Gwyneth Paltrow (Gwyn, if you read this feel free to foot the bill and I'll go, as per your recommendation), so I have to rely on my own versions of a spiritual rehab.
I'm not one for self-help books; just like wearing loud patterns, they really aren't my style. I generally rely on astrology and the zodiac to guide me through life because, honestly, it's the oldest form of religion, psychology, and fortune telling we have in this world, and I think the fact that it's lasted longer than any organized religion says a lot. Two websites that I rely on for guidance the most are & Always make sure to read for both your sun sign and rising sign as they are equally important. If you don't know your rising sign then google a birth chart calculator to see a full map of your inner makeup ( is a great place to start), but keep in mind that you'll need to know the time of your birth in order for this to work. Honestly, there's a lot more going on than just your sun sign; as I always tell people, only knowing your sun sign is like only knowing how to move one piece on the chessboard. So if you feel like you've been floundering try astrology as a new approach to figuring yourself out.

I'm also going to make a few film recommendations that I tend to rely on whenever I feel the need to hit the reset button. 
Breakfast at Tiffany's Honestly, is there anything more chic than this film? Audrey even makes eating empty calories look chic.

I Am Love Probably one of the must stunning, original movies I've ever watched. Tilda's Jil Sander-designed wardrobe and collection of Hermes bags is reason enough to Netflix this one.

Marie-Antoinette An all time favorite of mine, mainly because it's like watching one long, beautiful music video. I personally recommend turning it off about 15 minutes before the end and pretending that everything works out just fine. I'm still bitter about the French Revolution from my past life.

And if these movies don't do the trick, then just go to Barney's. Nothing bad can ever happen to you there, and even if you can't afford to leave with a few shopping bags, being surrounded by all that beauty and luxury is way more appealing than any therapy session.