See The World
Unless you want to bring a stroller through customs and deal with a screaming infant on endless flights, then you're better off barren. Only have a child if you can do what my parents did and hire a saucy Dutch nanny to smack some sense into your children when you're not around.
Fight The Mummy
Did you see the Mummy 2? Do you have any idea how much trouble that little fucker caused? HE WAS WHY THE MUMMY CAME BACK. So, not only are children useless, they are also dangerous.
Go To Space
That childhood dream of yours just died with your child's birth.
Conquer A Nation
Did Alexander the Great have a child? Not that I'm aware of; probs because he was gay.
I'm looking at you, Kim Kardashian.
I'm fairly certain that it's a proven fact that once you have children you stop having sex. That's just science. I assume big families must adopt after baby #1.
All your money will be going to that little shit, so why even bother?
Be A Superhero
Did Batman have a child? Superman? Aquaman? No. Not even Wonder Woman was held down by the umbilical cord.
Become A Spy
Same argument as above, but consider James Bond, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and even Carmen Sandiego. You can't do cool shit while wearing a baby bjorn!
Have A Dream
Children ruin EVERYTHING.
I bet you all feel super bad for being born now, don't you? Your parents do, anyways.