Thursday, May 29, 2014

Saying Goodbye To Maya Angelou More Tastefully Than You Did

Whenever a significantly intelligent person dies people become total Kardashians and start posting all kinds of inspirational quotes by said dead person, quotes which they never even came across until said person was six feet under. I'm not going to get on a xanax-induced high-horse and say I was an ardent fan of Maya Angelou; I certainly respected her, but in a distant, peripheral manner, much like how I respect the genius of Stephen Hawking, or Proust, or Lisa Vanderpump.

In honor of a great mind I'm going to stand and salute where a salute is due, but god dammit I am going to do it on my terms. Maya wouldn't have had it any other way-I'm sure there's a quote about that somewhere, so without further ado, let's talk some of my favorite Maya Angelou moments, which, full disclaimer, I was hardly aware of until she decided it was time for another go at the circle of life.

Here she is in Vogue. I shouldn't have to explain myself.

 I love a great ikat print (you just learned something) and those colors would make my eyes pop.

 This expression is already so fierce, but the jewels really take is up a level. Also, I need that ring more than I need my liver.

All I really have to say about this picture is who the hell is that Sesame Street character? I have never seen that purple-nosed bastard before in my life.

I don't know whether those petals are made out of abalone shells or the bleached fingertips of her enemies, but either way she's serving us some Chanel-status class right here.

I feel like if I woke up to this every day, my life couldn't really be that bad. Is that weird? Whatever.

If I made this post more about me than her, then I did the right thing. Maya, I poured out a bottle of Chanel No. 19 for you. Cheers.


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